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Death in the family etiquette.
Feb. 9th, 2006 10:05 amNobody any of you know. Even J's never met him.
My dad's brother died Saturday. My folks got a call from his guardian/girlfriend on Sunday. He'd been in a VA foster care home for the last 15 years, and had been in rocky mental territory for at least 5 years before that. (PTSD from 'Nam, alcohol abuse. Knowing Boris, probably drugs.) He's essentially been 'dead' for 15 years (hadn't recognised anyone in the family or his girlfriend for 10-12 years, at least). Do I send a card? And what kind? I feel like I should, but what kind of card do you send when the deceased has been 'alive' in body only for the last 15 years? The usual 'hold on to the memories' card just isn't appropriate, since that's all we've had for the last 15 years. (No memorial, he's being cremated and the ashes scattered. "Don't put me in a box", he once said.)
My dad's brother died Saturday. My folks got a call from his guardian/girlfriend on Sunday. He'd been in a VA foster care home for the last 15 years, and had been in rocky mental territory for at least 5 years before that. (PTSD from 'Nam, alcohol abuse. Knowing Boris, probably drugs.) He's essentially been 'dead' for 15 years (hadn't recognised anyone in the family or his girlfriend for 10-12 years, at least). Do I send a card? And what kind? I feel like I should, but what kind of card do you send when the deceased has been 'alive' in body only for the last 15 years? The usual 'hold on to the memories' card just isn't appropriate, since that's all we've had for the last 15 years. (No memorial, he's being cremated and the ashes scattered. "Don't put me in a box", he once said.)
